Jan 12, 2014 | Living Well
Liar. Liar. Pants on fire.
Are you a liar? Most people would be offended if asked that question. We like to think of ourselves as honest. But are we?
The adage that actions speak louder than words applies here. Do your actions completely line up with your words? I would have answered definitely until I reflected a minute. Sometimes I say I will do something by a certain time, but either I neglect to do it or complete the task late. In my mind, the task is small and inconsequential because I promptly complete anything I consider to be important. It does not matter how I prioritize the responsibility, not doing some lesser job when I said I would makes me a liar.
In the past I would tell someone I would meet them at a certain time, but invariably I’d arrive five minutes later than I said I would. I planned to be dependable but failed to do what I said. My good intentions do not always translate into actions for many legitimate reasons. Unexpected conflicts happen, but habitually arriving late means I do not tell the truth.
At times it is what we do not say that makes our words a lie. Leaving out vital information with the intent to deceive is lying. This does not mean that one must be brutally honest. The difference between not saying cruel, but honest, words and withholding important information is easily discerned by most people.
In small but crucial ways, we all lie on occasion to manipulate our life experiences.
The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death. Proverbs 21:6
Resolved Day 12: I will be aware of both my words and my actions. Through both I will be truthful and kind today.
Jan 11, 2014 | Living Well
Do you want your brain to work well for many years into the future? One thing you can do is memorize Bible verses. Your brain responds to being used just as your muscles strengthen when you exercise.
The benefits of meditation are often mentioned as a stress management technique. Many people meditate on a verse as they memorize it and find the meditation to be calming.
When God’s promises are in your brain, they surface when you most need them. God uses the memorized verses to give you peace, calm, and encouragement in difficult circumstances, so memorizing verses reduces stress.
What if you do not have a Bible readily available, will you remember what it says? More importantly, if you find yourself in a situation where Bibles are not permitted, can you bring to memory verses to help others or yourself? Many locations and many situations do not allow possession of a Bible. Do you have enough verses memorized to keep you close to God?
For me the most important reason to memorize God’s Word is as I study a verse, I start to truly understand not only the verse but also the whole passage where it is located.
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11
Resolved Day 11: I will memorize a new Bible verse today.
Jan 10, 2014 | Living Well
How long has it been since you contacted certain family members because of squabbles? Who in your extended family do you miss?
We are so busy that we often take family for granted. In our minds they will always be there for us even though we have neglected to nurture the relationships. Some family members are “toxic” because of past issues or personal problems, and we’d rather not contact them even though we do love them because they are family.
The biblical account of Joseph gives us some guidance about dealing with difficult family relations. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery because of his arrogance and their jealousy. God trained Joseph through some difficult circumstances then made him a powerful ruler. When his family needed him most, Joseph had a forgiving heart and provided for them.
Then Joseph settled his father and his brothers and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land… And Joseph provided his father, his brothers, and all his father’s household with food, according to the number of their dependents. Genesis 47:11-12
I admire Joseph because of his ability to forgive and extend love. May I be as forgiving as Joseph for real or imagined offenses from family members. It is my desire to never hurt nor neglect my extended family members.
Which family member do you need to contact today?
Resolved Day 10: I will express my love and concern toward one or more extended family members today.
Jan 9, 2014 | Living Well
In-law horror stories abound. Some really difficult people dig in and refuse to compromise. Some are just arrogant. But some lack social or communication skills.
My heart goes out to those who have to endure exasperating in-laws. I can only imagine the stress it places on a marriage. Building a quality relationship with your spouse is challenging enough without in-laws undercutting or complicating issues.
I often joked that the reason I and Mom T. had a good relationship is because I learned early that her son was perfect. You and I know that is not true, but she did not want to hear about any imperfections her son might have. So whenever I was around her, I made sure to say positive things about my husband. It worked. She thought I was the perfect wife for her son.
After being widowed for several years, Mom T. married a widower. They found love, companionship, and enjoyment together. When my mother-in-law passed away a couple of years ago, my husband and I decided we still considered his stepdad as a member of the family. He had made the last twenty years of my mother-in-laws life happy. I think he knows we are grateful. But we probably do not tell him we love him often enough.
How can you let your in-laws know that you appreciate them? I think I will write him a note.
Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18
Resolved Day 9: I will go out of my way to let my father-in-law know that I love and appreciate him.
Jan 8, 2014 | Living Well
All of us could write an authoritative paper about how gossip has hurt us. We all have been deeply hurt because of unfair rumors. Gossip, whether we are repeating it or listening to it, is bad, and we know it. Yet we engage in it. Why?
One reason is voyeurism. We like to hear how other people mess up. Viewing into their unseemly private lives makes us feel superior. After all, we would never let ourselves get into that kind of a mess.
Another reason is jealousy. We like to see someone who has higher social standing or authority get knocked down a peg or two.
When we feel bad about ourselves, we talk about others. Somehow we feel better when we portray others as evil or stupid.
Sometimes it is peer pressure. We want to be in the know and everyone is talking about what is going on with their victim. Unfortunately, gossip can be a form of bullying. Even as adults we often lack the courage to stand up to bullies.
Sadly, we make ourselves feel like it is okay to gossip when we put the gossip in the form of a prayer request. We like to show off our insider knowledge and forget that most of the details should not be mentioned. A short, one-sentence request for pray is generally best.
When is gossip most difficult for you to resist?
Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
Resolved Day 8: I will not listen to or repeat gossip today.
Jan 7, 2014 | Living Well
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Today’s resolution focuses on negative comments. It sounds much like yesterday’s resolution to not grumble or gripe, and it is. But grumbling and griping are the personal type of negative words. Today I am including all types.
Negative words are an essential part of everyday life. We must be able to say “no” to proposals which are not in our best interest. We must be able to say “no” to our children when what they want is not a wise option for them.
My concern is for the way we make negative comments, how often they are coming from our mouths, and who hears our negative words. We can calmly and pleasantly make a negative response without using harsh tones. Just because what we say is not positive does not mean it has to be abrasive or hurtful. Who hears our words is almost as important as how we say them. Are we being purposeful about who is within our close proximity? Are we broadcasting our negative words to a wide audience or saying them only to the people affected?
Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. Matthew 5:37
Because it is so easy to elaborate when I make a negative comment, I am going to focus on saying what must be said in simple and positive words. This will require purposely adjusting my thinking to recognize positive solutions before I speak.
Resolved Day 7: I will eliminate negative comments for today.
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