My Thanksgiving displays consist mostly of brown grass and wilted flowers. In other words, I haven’t accomplished much. My decorations are very meager. Corn stocks from the garden have been cut and bound together. They are tied to the fence posts and barbed wire wreath displaying our address out by the road. They need some pizzazz.
I wanted a bale of straw for the decorations at the edge of the driveway. I called a local farmer. He has straw bales at a reasonable price, but he said I’d need to pick them up since they are very busy harvesting soybeans. I told him it was no problem. We have an old pickup we use for errands. All I needed to do was to convince Ray, my sweet husband, that he should help me move a bale of straw.
As Ray relaxed in his recliner last Friday, I suggested that it would be an easy task to pick up a bale of straw at our neighbor’s haybarn for our Thanksgiving driveway decorations. Ray looked at me in disbelief—or maybe it was frustration at being called on to help with one of my “hair-brained” ideas. Either way, I knew to pour on the charm.
After a brief explanation of my decoration plans, Ray decided, if he was going to move one bale, he might as well buy three more bales for winter insulation on top of the water meter. Of course, with a sweet smile, I suggested we buy at least two more for the driveway decoration so it wouldn’t look so sparse. After all, I explained, I’d use the straw for mulch in the garden next summer. And—just in case I find a use for it—we might as well purchase at least one extra bale. My sweet husband just shook his head.
Instead of one bale, we decided to purchase seven.
On Saturday morning, Ray grabbed a hay hook from the shop. During the whole adventure, I heard about his exploits as a teen working in the hayfields. Back then, it was a good summer job in our area, especially if they played football. A weight program for football players was not on anyone’s radar. After all, most of the football players on the home team were out bucking seventy-pound bales several hours a day.
As Ray unloaded the first bale, he looked at me and said, “Seventy and a half years old and I’m bucking bales for my wife.”
He was on the top of his game—strong, well-trained, doing what he loved, serving his country. Life was good. His beautiful young wife and their border collies were staying with her parents in Kansas while he was serving a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
Instantly everything changed. At the time, he did not know what happened. All he knew is that the helicopter was falling in a storm of swirling sand. After the crash, he tried performing as he was trained to do in an emergency situation, but his body did not move as it should.
After being initially stabilized, he was flown to Germany then to San Antonio for months of recovery in a military hospital with his brave wife constantly at his side. Then it was many more months of rehabilitation before he received a medical discharge and disability status. The prognosis—he will always live with limited mobility and constant pain which often becomes severe. His is a life forever changed.
What is a young couple to do when all their dreams are now impossible? They bravely build a new life. Friendships take on new significance. Family relationships develop increased importance. They pour their love into the lives of their new twin sons.
Thank you for your service Michael Dubus and Jennifer Dubus for standing by your soldier.
“Put those raw peanuts in the shopping cart,” my eighty-nine-year-old mother said.
“What do you plan to do with these?” I said.
“Make peanut brittle for Christmas, of course,” she curtly responded.
After a moment of thought, I cautiously suggested that I would make the peanut brittle under her excellent supervision. Mom was not happy about my plan, but she agreed. She loves making peanut brittle, but she could not argue with my concern for her ability to handle an iron skillet of extremely hot candy.
The next day Mom pulled her walker up close to the stove. She alternately stood and sat as she told me exactly what to do until the candy syrup was ready for the next step. Finally, she said the candy was ready for the last two ingredients to be added. Within a minute, I would be pouring the finished peanut brittle on the pans I had prepared where it would cool.
Mom started to move out of the area so I would have plenty of room to pour out the hot candy. As soon as her back was turned, I said, “Do you have to stick your nose into everything?”
“Well, excuse me,” was her immediate response. I laughed which did not help the situation. I had been talking to my dog—not to Mom. As soon as Mom had walked away from the stove, my dog slid his body between the stove and me.
Sometimes what we say results in hurt feelings that we did not intend because the context of our words was misunderstood. As we communicate, we need to check to make sure the hearers understand our meaning. Cues from body language, facial expressions, or the person’s response must be taken seriously and corrected before the problem becomes a deep hurt when a negative was not intended.
I apologized to Mom and explained I was talking to the dog. She laughed.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18
I must admit. I am a gift buying failure. I am not naturally good at it. I try, but usually I fail.
Do you have anyone on your gift buying list who is difficult to satisfy. That person may always express appreciation, but you know the gift was not one that was really wanted. Some people make buying them a gift tough because they buy everything they want as soon as they want it. Some make gift selection difficult because they are older and are down-sizing. Some people just never give you any hints, or maybe I am just not observant enough to pick up on their clues.
Often I cop out and just buy a gift card to a location I think the person will like. Based on the popularity of gift cards, I am sure most people enjoy receiving them. I know that I appreciate getting gift cards.
Come to think of it, maybe I am a person who is difficult when it comes to gift buying for one or more of the above reasons.
The best gifts I have received involve the giver spending time with me. With that in mind, my husband and I came up with a special gift for his ninety-one year-old stepdad’s Christmas this year. We took him on a long “Sunday” drive and ate lunch at a restaurant for which he had fond memories but hasn’t been to in years. We meandered around the countryside visiting favorite locations, ate a leisurely lunch, and returned by a different scenic route. He had a ball reminiscing and commenting on things we saw. Great day.
Sometimes we need to slow down and spend time investing in relationships. Those are the best gifts.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
When I was seven years old, my brother and I received the most wonderful Christmas gifts. We each were given a Stori-viewer and a set of full-color picture story cards. These were not just ordinary picture cards. They were 3-D when displayed in the Stori-viewer. The pictures were intricately detailed scenes depicting the facts of Jesus’ birth as written in Luke 2:1-20. The sharing of these cards has developed into a family Christmas tradition.
In our family, the Stori-viewer ritual takes place before gifts are opened. Each person finds a place to sit in a circle which forms in the living room. The tradition starts when the senior male family member reads the verse on the first card. For many years Daddy was the one overseeing this event. He read the card, inserted it into the Stori-viewer, and passed it to the person sitting next to him. That person looked and passed it to the next person. Once the first Stori-viewer traveled about halfway around the room, Daddy would read the next card and start the second Stori-viewer. As the Stori-viewer made its way around the room, each family member viewed the scene.Even babies were given looks.
This year half the family will be celebrating Christmas in Oklahoma and half in Kansas due to some health issues. The Christmas story cards and the Stori-viewers will travel to both celebrations. It is the tradition that binds the family together.
Why is it important to have such a family tradition?
First, it keeps the family focused on the real reason for the celebration of Christmas—the birth of Jesus.
Second, it provides an expected structure to the family celebration. The chaos of chatter and play stops. The family focuses on being a unit doing one quiet thing together. It creates a strong family unit.
Third, for a few minutes in a day full of gifts and gluttonous eating, family members focus on something other than themselves.
Do you have a similar tradition in your family? What can you do to start one?
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11
I have been crying a lot. My mother recently passed away. It startled me to discover that my tears sprung forth for many different reasons, and I suspect that is true for most grieving people.
Death is all about relationships being severed. I cry because:
I know I will never see Mom again.
I love her and cannot imagine life with her absent. Oh the house is so quiet!
I wish I had followed through with all of my promises.
I wish I had spent more time with her when I was younger and too busy pursuing my career.
I regret thoughtless or angry words for which I did not ask forgiveness.
These tears are all about me. I cannot take her to lunch at Cracker Barrel, I never again will sit by her at a grandkid’s ballgame, nor will I read the Christmas story with her ever again. These self-centered tears are a necessary and healthy part of grieving.
However, for me the selfish tears are balanced with tender tears of joy—joy of:
having experienced Mom’s love
having her as an example of hard work, ingenuity, and creativity
knowing that Mom loved Jesus
knowing she is in heaven
looking forward to the time I will eternally worship Jesus along side Mom and Dad.
I am reminded that all of us have control over what kind of tears will be shed the most by family and friends. We have an opportunity to leave our loved ones with predominately joyful tears because Jesus invited us to reside with him for eternity after we accepted him as our Savior.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20
