“I can’t believe you just said that,” spilled out of my mouth. A “friend” verbally attacked me because I disagreed with her position on a topic I thought fair to discuss.
I’m shaken. If friends cannot reasonably discuss what is happening in our culture, with whom can we discover the strength of opposing positions? How can we make informed decisions about local issues? I’m frustrated.
Are you afraid to disagree with others because of fear of rejection? Me too. Even though I try to be sensitive to the needs of others, I doubt my ability. Hypersensitivity rules the day. At this point, I find myself avoiding most conversations that venture past, “Hello. How are you?”.
Sad.
The desire to be considerate of the feelings of others now means no real expression of understanding or depth of relationship. Dialogue devolves into superficiality; if you disagree with me, you are being hateful. I will not have anything to do with you because you do not agree with me.
Superficial relationships rule so surface peace can prevail. But is this healthy? Take time to listen.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15
How can we change this unhealthy trend of demanding the “you must agree with me or I will reject you” mentality? Of course, the answer is one person, one heart at a time. And I must start with my own heart.
How have I been intolerant?
Which one of my positions is narrow and needs to be informed?
To whom have I insisted my position must be heard instead of listening with a heart for understanding other ideas?
Thoughtful listening does not mean agreement. It means all ideas are given respect. Only then can we understand what formed the reasons the other person has taken a stand to which we disagree. Only then can we, with sensitivity, present our thoughts or modify our position, whichever is appropriate.
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31
True tolerance of other positions is built one relationship at a time.
Do you have a helpful hint about how to chip away at the disease of insensitivity in today’s culture?
#listentoothers #exploreideas #respectothers